#33. Occupy The Third Position.
Everyone wants to be on the winning team.
I hate to bring it up, but COVID exposed the weakness of humanity.
Yup, I said it. It’s true.
No matter where you stand on the decisions made, at certain points, many people made choices that meant they were on the winning team. That doesn’t mean they were right; it means they chose not to observe from the third position.
And to be frank, many people acted like assholes, including me. Sometimes right, sometimes wrong, BUT both sides lost. All were driven by the fear we hold inside ourselves, and external forces perpetuated that.
That was until I realised there was a third position to adopt.
Unlike an umpire in a Wimbledon tennis final (because they are working within a set of agreed rules by all parties), the third position is the realisation that both sides can be right and wrong equally.
This is one of the many paradoxes that we face in life.
Everyone thinks they are right but puts no effort into being correct.
Imagine a more practical example; as a parent.
When your wife and son are arguing, there is an expectation that you will side with one of them. Their expectations of you. And to be fair, you might want to do it.
But imagine you consider both perspectives and provide insights, not solutions. The easy choice is to choose one over the other.
The hard thing to do is observe and provide the information that allows both parties to move forward. Far cleverer people than me would call this mediation.
The third position is not one of belligerence but of a neutral party interested in progress for all.
Our egos will hold us ransome, often without us realising, because most of us want to be liked; we want to be loved. Ideally, we want to be right.
But we won’t learn. Our world is full of diversity in the broadest sense, and embracing that without agenda or bias is the only way to move forward.
If you apply this theory to your business, you can easily fall into the trap of; I’m the boss, they don’t understand, or you can be super empathetic and bend over backwards for your team and suffer yourself.
OR. You can hold the third position, detach your ego from the result and observe with a desire that ALL parties succeed.
To stand alone is not only courageous, but it gives you the ability to see all sides, all options and ultimately choose where you put your energy.
In business, we all too often sit on one side of the fence. But we find it hard to look over the other side and see the other options.
Business is about synthesising data, emotions, markets and opportunities, but if you do it with blinkers on, you miss 50% of what’s possible.
Until next week, stand in the third position for a week and see what you learn.
G.
