Month: May 2023

The Lone Leader Weekly

17th May 2023

Stop Taking Score Play The Game.

When you spend all your time taking score against strangers, you never realise how far you’ve come.

#1. Old Thinking Creates New Problems.

But new problems create the opportunity for new thinking.

#2. Life Is Layers Of Paint. 

Each one tells a story, but only some colours stay relevant.

#3. You Are Not Alone.

You need to whisper a little louder.

Why do we keep our promises to others but not to ourselves?

The one thing I know to be true when it comes to being a lone leader is that we always break promises to ourselves.

Modern leadership demands that we are servant leaders, putting our team’s needs before our own. While I agree with the reason, it does mean that we often lose sight of our needs.

The emotional support, security, stability and free cookies on a Friday are all well and good, but not while you lay awake at night resenting the investment.

Because we have all been there.

The promises that we break the most:

1. Time to rest
2. Time with family
3. Time on our hobbies
4. Time working on the business, not in it
5. Time sleeping
6. Time laughing
7. Time having fun
8. Time to celebrate your success.

This is what my business demands, you might say. True. Right now. But you can change.

The magic ingredient? Capacity.

Freeing up time to do the things that you compromise daily.

It’s not getting up at 4 am because some guru tells you to.

It’s not hiring more staff, so you suddenly become an entrepreneur rather than a business owner.

It’s you deciding what you want your business to do for you.

How it serves your needs and goals.

How does your team collaborate with you to realise your vision for a better world, industry or product?

I say fuck convention, the industry standard or the way it has always been done. 

I say to you, design the life you want and get your business working for you.

Am I preaching theory over reality? No.

Since I designed to get my business working for me, these are the things that give me the capacity:

1. Walking the dogs when I get up, around 7 am, while listening to podcasts. (Often taking notes)
2. Have the goal of being available for to the world at 10 am, which often means I can get a lot done upfront
3. If I’m not feeling it, I change my schedule and work different hours later in the day
4. Take me out for coffee on my own to take a break
5. Call friends to check in, talk business, talk shit
6. Take my wife out for coffee to check in most weeks
7. Train at lunchtime when the weather is good.

All of which recharge me and give me the capacity to deliver on my business goals.

I work fewer hours but end each day more fulfilled because I am not chasing my to-do list.

I wish this were a foolproof method; it’s not. I have been playing with these ideas for the past seven months, and it takes time to break the habit of always being in your business.

But I know that if you don’t decide what you want for your life, life will decide for you.

You don’t have to give up on your goals.

You don’t have to give up on the scale.

You don’t have to give up on financial freedom.

But you do need to start making promises to yourself and keeping them.

One small promise at a time.

Until next week, be selfish; no one else will for you.

G.

What next?

The Lone Leader Weekly

19th April 2023

The Weight You Carry

Are you a victim of circumstance, or are you taking a path less worn?

#1. The Voices Are Wrong.

You are making progress. Every single day you get up and go again.

#2. We Are All Playing At It.

Please don’t kid yourself that your peers have it all figured out. Like you, they are adapting, doubting and failing every day too.

#3. Be Relentlessly You.

Your vision, your ideas, your execution. That’s what people are attracted to, not some templated system without a soul.

Theres not a day that goes by that I am not trapped in my own mind, challenging my effort, my intent and my own value in this life. These are the moments that can provide deep introspection or a spiral of despair.

As someone once wrote, ‘when you work for yourself you wake up every morning unemployed, and you need to get comfortable with that feeling’.

There is no doubt in my mind that in the 12 years I have been running my business alone, that we are a special breed. We are the disruptors, the agitators and the lunatics, taking the path less trodden, defining the rules as we go.

But the madness of it all is that many of us feel unique. That what we are going through has only or is only happening to us in that very moment.

The money worries, the relationship strains, the unrelenting progress of technology all slowly but surely trapping us in our own minds.

We can be brave and console ourselves by proclaiming it doesn’t affect us; it’s only business. And to a point, that’s true, but business can be all-consuming, taking all the resources available to it and often leaving nothing behind.

One of of my weaknesses which I am focusing on turning into a strength, is the ability to observe and accept how far I have come.

I focus a lot on it with my coaching clients as I believe it is a source of energy and momentum. As soon as you shine a light on the progress to date. You realise you are indeed ‘doing it’ and achieving amazing things.

However, we allow ourselves to reflect on our to-do list for the day, what we didn’t get done, rather than how far we have come.

These small but critical roadblocks that we put in our roads slow us down more than the likes of our competition, the market or our bank accounts.

Our thoughts about our progress, what people think, and how successful we are versus how successful we think we should be are the things that trap us without walls.

Without the ability to process, act and file our thoughts or be free in our minds, we reduce our ability to think about the things that will move us forward.

When talking to clients, I call it ‘capacity’. If our cup is full and we keep tipping more in, it overflows, causing a mess. But if we leave capacity, the room to respond to life, the unexpected or the unwanted, we keep ourselves one step further away from overwhelm.

Because overwhelmed is when we keep pouring pints into a shot glass and then having to spend time clearing up.

We imprison ourselves more than we realise with our thoughts, and we need to stop. So what can be done?

If you want to empty the cup of nonsense, here are the 5 things I have been trying to improve my mental capacity to respond rather than react:

These are not bleeding edge concepts, but all free, easy and when you have 24 hours in a day, you have plenty of time to try each of them, which is no risk but the gaining of mental space for what matters.

When we try to go it alone, we only have the voices to keep us company, and they are not always kind to us.

What next?

The Lone Leader Weekly

26th April 2023

Don’t Be Afraid To Start Over.

What you have now may not be all it’s cracked up to be.

#1. Start As A Sceptic.

But use your awareness to admit when you are wrong.

#2. There Is Only Now.

Your past haunts you, and your future taunts you; what other choice do you have but to be in this moment?

#3. Stop Hoarding Your Past Wins.

Create space to take on the new, the weird and the unknown and watch your energy soar.

So much of what we do is designed to manage our fears and protect our current status. But what if you threw it all away and started over?

FYI – Please don’t make any rash decisions based on my ramblings, but do ask the question of, what if?

I have been embracing the new in abundance recently with moving house. It’s simple stuff, walking the dogs a lot, riding and running to explore the local area, new shops, new faces, new surroundings. Including still not being able to find things in the kitchen!

But with all that change comes baggage, memories, habits, thoughts. Ironic that it came up this week as our third value as a business is ‘ditch the baggage’, and if I am honest, I am doing a shitty job of living it in some areas at the moment.

You see when you make significant changes in one area of your life, you shine a light on others, and thats not all that much fun.

Last week I was doing my usual navel gazing about the business on the back of a win with a new program being launched for business owners.

Having been selected from 65 applicants to be in the final 7 that would deliver in the program I allowed myself a little pat on the back.

Not because of the ‘win’, not because I applied (I usually don’t even bother), but because of the content of the application.

As I was writing it I realised that I was truly the right person for the job.

My intent around the experiences I searched for and gained brought me to the moment that I was able to operate in a completely new space.

And thats when the friction started to rub. As I bobbed back home on the ferry (thats another new thing, public transport), I realised that there was some baggage, things that no longer served me, especially in the business.

I can’t tell you how many times in the past 12 years people have told me how much they love the name Waking Giants, and I tend to agree. But to look inwards as we all know is the hardest thing to do.

Thinking on the day I happened to look at my website; it was a pastiche of my past, my present but nothing of the future.

While only a website it is a window to the world in why I do what I do. And it’s been doing a shit job. When I look at it, there is so much more to tell, but so few words required.

I realised it was a relic of a past business and way of thinking and being that was no longer true. While I am hugely grateful for it and everything it has brought me. It’s time to move on.

My usual practice would be convince myself of all the good stuff and copy it into a new design. Not this time.

I busted out the whiteboard and wrote down what I wanted, who I wanted to serve and how. All things that I am 100% clear on.

Then I realised that I need to start building a window to the world that aligned, that felt authentic, clear and allowed me to grow my opportunities to do what I love.

Liberating, no shit. I realised that this was an anchor to 12 years of baggage that no longer served me productively.

By going through the process of starting over, both in our personal lives and the business, you have to make tough decisions.

Ditch the baggage; relationships, thoughts, habits, ego… anything that no longer serves you.

What it does is free up precious time to move into new spaces, new thoughts, an abundance of creativity and opportunity.

But, we must be open to the universe presenting you the opportunity to move forward.

This week when life it getting full, busy, overwhelming or straight up fucked, grab a pen and pad and ask, what is serving me and what is holding me back.

Do more of one, and none of the other. Then you are ditching the baggage.

Until next week (When the new website will be live). Embrace the fear of the blank page.

G.

What next?

The Lone Leader Weekly

3rd May 2023

We Need To Talk About The Unspeakable

All of the answers live in the unsaid being said.

#1. Put Yourself In The Way Of Luck.

Luck requires your commitment to disrupt business as usual.

#2. Acceptance Over Answers.

Don’t look for answers where there are none.

#3. You Have Value.

You might be in the wrong place. So move.

Beware the monsters lurk. Ready to pounce at a moment’s notice when you least expect them, ill-prepared and no energy to fight.

You would have gathered by now that The Lone Leader is in all of us, and that’s where I find my inspiration each week to bring you these insights and articles. But the past five days have been some of the lowest in years.

Last Thursday, I cried myself to sleep while comforted by my wife. That day I learned about the death of a colleague of five years and a friend of ten.

He was my last employee, a casualty of a change in my life and a need to deepen my journey to find what makes me me and how I serve. Do I regret that decision? No.

He died in tragic circumstances, the details of which I won’t share, but a life was wasted and a family left in despair. So many questions, so few answers.

I have had to deal with a lot of death in my life, the loss of my Mum in my late 20s and my first daughter, Isabelle, 11 years ago being the toughest. That pain is indescribable, as many would know. But this death, this was different. It was confusing, heartbreaking, and even wasteful.

What it did do was create questions that were almost impossible to answer; my head hurt, in fact, from the overworking of the cogs to try and make sense of what happened. Playing old interactions over and over, was there something more I could have done? Did I give everything in those moments? Did I leave any stone unturned?

Could I have made a difference? No. A simple two-letter conclusion that I accept without a doubt.

It showed me a weakness in my character that I often feel the need to take on people’s pain, to live it too deeply, to suffer for them. A trait I believe came from my dear Mum.

To sacrifice oneself so that other person doesn’t have to suffer.

When you spend up to 50 hours a week with someone for years, you realise that you are indeed embedded in their life, but at the same time, you feel like you know nothing.

A sad realisation that we barely know ourselves, let alone those around us.

Our overly complex lives leave us wanting, confused and searching for meaning. But we sometimes come up short.

The complexity distracts us from the important things, love, purpose and service to others.

We spend so much time treading water, but we don’t know why, and that’s when the monsters come.

Without prejudice or delay.

They enter our minds and refuse to leave.

This is when the simplicity of love and meaning should prevail, but often, it’s not the case.

As Lone Leaders, we often leave the door ajar for these monsters to creep inside. That’s when we are at our most vulnerable.

Work hard, build your business, and find success, but please, not at any cost.

You are valued, you are loved, you are wanted.

Until next time. Live.

G.

What next?

The Lone Leader Weekly

5th April 2023

Life Will Not Wait

Time is the only commodity we trade without a solid ROI.

#1. Patience Is An Action.

When we rush, we cut corners. But patience is accepting that good things come to those that wait while taking action.

#2. Until You Push Beyond Your Limits.

You don’t know your limits.

#3. Excuses Compound Inaction.

Action compounds progress.

We all have made excuses at some point in our lives, whether to avoid taking responsibility for our actions or to justify our lack of action.

However, we must understand that making excuses only leads to missed opportunities and unfulfilled potential.

It’s essential to overcome the habit of making excuses and take responsibility for our actions. We must learn to hold ourselves accountable and understand that our decisions shape our lives. Instead of making excuses, we should focus on achieving our goals and aspirations.

Now missing the odd gym session or eating an extra cookie is not the territory I want to look at; it’s the stuff that stops you from fulfilling your potential.

One of the worst excuses I hear is the classic, ‘I don’t have time’. I call bullshit.

24 hours a day:

8 hours sleep
5-7 hours deep work

That leaves 9 hours;

By recognizing why we make excuses and finding ways to overcome them, we can take responsibility for our actions and move towards success.

It’s important to focus on progress rather than perfection and to seek support and encouragement from others when needed.

Let’s quit our excuses and start achieving our goals today, one small step at a time.

G. Until next time. Get on with it.

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