The Lone Leader Weekly

22nd Feb 2023

Know What You Want

Or someone else will decide for you.

#1. Edit Your Tribe.

If weak, uninspiring people surround you; you need to take action. We only grow when we are surrounded by challenge, support and aspiration. Don’t fail by osmosis.

#2. Don’t Play The 90/10 Rule.

What is the 90/10 rule, you ask? It’s the method we all use to spend 90% of our energy worrying about something that can be solved with 10% of our energy.

#3. Our Imperfection Is Our Strength.

When we are self-aware enough to understand we are NOT perfect, we allow ourselves to ask what can we do to grow, improve and be 1% better each day.

When it comes to setting goals for yourself or your business, it might be time for a change in thinking.

Tony Robbins famously said that ‘it’s not the goal that’s important but the person you become in trying to attain that goal that’s important’. And as I get older, I’m inclined to agree.

When we are younger and clueless, we think we are bulletproof, that whatever we can put our mind to, we can achieve; while I don’t disagree entirely, I think we can be more thoughtful about how we look at creating and achieving goals.

If you look at any goal, there is a high risk of failure. From your starting point to the goal achieved, there is this chasm of impending failure, so why do we put all of our energy into the goal itself?

A simple example is the process of running a marathon. You can spend months training, putting in the km and on race day, you have a bad stomach or slip and get injured. Is that failure?

Oh, of course not; they are things that may sit outside your control but have a significant effect on your perception of having achieved the goal.

What makes the goal successful is the detail, the journey you go on to arrive at race day prepared.

The daily runs to get your body fit, rest days to allow your body to recover, using the right fuel during runs and for recovery, good sleep to let your body heal, and having great training partners for when your motivation is dwindling. These are all actions that both get you ready for race day but equally become a self-fulfilling prophecy in you becoming a healthy, less stressed person.

My take on it is that even if the race day goes wrong, you have achieved the goal of being a more disciplined, healthy and less stressed person. Plus, for many, this can create a lifetime change in the way you see life, your ability to take on challenges and the obvious health benefits.

No clearer proof of this is my training buddy. Four years ago, he joined his wife on an easy 5km run while on holiday in Melbourne; it didn’t go well. He had to walk home.

Last weekend I was support crew for his first 102km Ultramarathon which took him 17 hours.

I’ve been part of that whole journey, and the race was only a small part of the transformation. We would spend hours on the trails in Winter, fighting mud and rain to get strong. He reduced his drinking to next to nothing, started working with a training plan, got injured, got fed up, got frustrated and everything in between.

But now he has run five Ultramarathons, regularly runs 70-100km per week, and dropped huge amounts of weight; his long-term groin injury from playing rugby has gone, and running has become his ultimate weapon in managing his mental health.

So you see, the journey has been the most important thing for him, culminating in achieving an extraordinary goal that many can only dream of.

But what is most important is that he did it for him. The goal was his own, not competing with others but only with himself (And me on occasion. Currently, he is kicking my ass! I am now the student…)

To me, we have to change our approach to the way we look at goals, we must have them to keep us moving forward, but there need to be some different rules put in place:

1. The goal must be for us. Chasing other people’s goals is an instant failure.

2. We must understand that our journey will be full of disappointments and failures, but as long as you keep learning and trying, you will get there.

3. You eat an elephant. One mouthful at a time. Get comfortable with 1% gains. That’s the only guaranteed method of success.

4. Document your journey; by writing, journaling, and using tools like Strava (Running community) and join a community of people on that journey too.

5. Accept it will be hard. Goals that don’t challenge you don’t change you.

6. Get an accountability partner and share your challenges and your wins; they want you to succeed; you don’t have to go it alone.

7. Accept that in the end, the goal 90% achieved is more valuable than a goal never started.

I am certainly not advocating for a mindset of participation; competition and winning are an important part of life, but not at all costs.

Use your goals to become the best version of yourself and that right there is that mindset that can enable you to achieve anything you put your mind to.

Until next time, take on that challenge and become the person you know you can be.


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