The Lone Leader Weekly

1st March 2023

Allow Life To Take Your Breathe Away

It’s the sign that you are present and living.

#1. Give Up On Success. Commit To Fulfilment.

You can be fulfilled at any moment, but the success you must wait for.

#2. Be A Tribe Of One.

Stop giving a damn what others think. Get uncomfortably comfortable with being you and owning it.

#3. Overcome The Obstacle.

When you come up against an obstacle. Accept it is meant to be there. Breathe in for 4, breathe out for 4. Then take action.

My greatest growth came from when I stopped. Sat staring at a whiteboard for three months asking, what does moving forward look like.

I hate to be a cliche, but when you suffer trauma, it seems that there are two paths forward; ignorance is bliss, and you go back to BAU, or you are provoked onto a new path for your life.

It seems I landed in the latter, which created a deep relationship with my whiteboard and an extremely ugly navy blue velour, old lazy boy armchair.

One of my greatest weaknesses is patience. With myself specifically and then those around me. Hence, being a leader at times was my greatest test.

My impatience came from physical and mental pain. My body took a while to heal, but my mind longer. In that, my mortality was firmly presented to me, and I had no choice but to listen.

I wanted to be pain-free.

I wanted to be moving forward.

I wanted to be in control.

None of which I was achieving, and I was actively beating myself up over it.

Until… I stopped.

I hate to say it, but it was the greatest strategic move I have made for my business in its history, but it was so counterintuitive that I would never have previously considered it.

They say you should spend more time working on the business than in it, but it’s ways harder than it sounds.

What I discovered what not groundbreaking, but at the same time, it was life-changing.

The work that I was doing with clients was the most fulfilling I have ever done. I was fully engaged, focused on helping them move forward and, most importantly, not rushing between sessions or meetings.

That was the seed that created the change.

I had created the space to heal and the space to create. Writing had become a joy, whereas before, it was a process.

Solving challenges for the business had become just that, not yet more on the to-do list.

I stopped thinking that I HAD to ‘x’ or ‘y’; that capacity and focus started to come back, but it was different. More meaningful, full of intent and ultimately a bit scary.

When we stop and observe, we see that we usually hide in our busy lives. When I stopped, I realised that I had all this strength, but maybe I wasn’t using it correctly.

I got clarity on who I serve and how I want to do business. I started to do less to create more.

I became my coach, stood on the sidelines observing my behaviours, ready to give the half-time speech on how in some areas, I was weak and in others, strong. But most of all, I need to play my game.

We tell ourselves that we can’t take time off. We can’t afford the luxury of stepping back and watching for a moment to understand what the next step can be.

I liken this to my interactions with my daughter. I’m not a big ‘playing’ type of Dad, but I revel in watching her interact with the world and the impact she has in it. I am present and observing the wonder of life; I don’t necessarily have to participate.

The message that I share with the Lone Leaders I support almost on a weekly basis is that they need to give themselves permission to stop. Permission to breathe. Permission to ask if there is a better path.

Suppose you want to understand what’s actually possible. Stop. Revise your plan. Then go again.

Until next time, be selfish. You deserve it. But more importantly, you NEED it!


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