The Lone Leader Weekly

3rd May 2023

We Need To Talk About The Unspeakable

All of the answers live in the unsaid being said.

#1. Put Yourself In The Way Of Luck.

Luck requires your commitment to disrupt business as usual.

#2. Acceptance Over Answers.

Don’t look for answers where there are none.

#3. You Have Value.

You might be in the wrong place. So move.

Beware the monsters lurk. Ready to pounce at a moment’s notice when you least expect them, ill-prepared and no energy to fight.

You would have gathered by now that The Lone Leader is in all of us, and that’s where I find my inspiration each week to bring you these insights and articles. But the past five days have been some of the lowest in years.

Last Thursday, I cried myself to sleep while comforted by my wife. That day I learned about the death of a colleague of five years and a friend of ten.

He was my last employee, a casualty of a change in my life and a need to deepen my journey to find what makes me me and how I serve. Do I regret that decision? No.

He died in tragic circumstances, the details of which I won’t share, but a life was wasted and a family left in despair. So many questions, so few answers.

I have had to deal with a lot of death in my life, the loss of my Mum in my late 20s and my first daughter, Isabelle, 11 years ago being the toughest. That pain is indescribable, as many would know. But this death, this was different. It was confusing, heartbreaking, and even wasteful.

What it did do was create questions that were almost impossible to answer; my head hurt, in fact, from the overworking of the cogs to try and make sense of what happened. Playing old interactions over and over, was there something more I could have done? Did I give everything in those moments? Did I leave any stone unturned?

Could I have made a difference? No. A simple two-letter conclusion that I accept without a doubt.

It showed me a weakness in my character that I often feel the need to take on people’s pain, to live it too deeply, to suffer for them. A trait I believe came from my dear Mum.

To sacrifice oneself so that other person doesn’t have to suffer.

When you spend up to 50 hours a week with someone for years, you realise that you are indeed embedded in their life, but at the same time, you feel like you know nothing.

A sad realisation that we barely know ourselves, let alone those around us.

Our overly complex lives leave us wanting, confused and searching for meaning. But we sometimes come up short.

The complexity distracts us from the important things, love, purpose and service to others.

We spend so much time treading water, but we don’t know why, and that’s when the monsters come.

Without prejudice or delay.

They enter our minds and refuse to leave.

This is when the simplicity of love and meaning should prevail, but often, it’s not the case.

As Lone Leaders, we often leave the door ajar for these monsters to creep inside. That’s when we are at our most vulnerable.

Work hard, build your business, and find success, but please, not at any cost.

You are valued, you are loved, you are wanted.

Until next time. Live.


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